There are so many sayings about what makes a home, so many ways people can complicate it and twist it into something they think is both meaningful and right; I'm about to do the same thing.
"Home is where the heart is, with the people your heart belongs to."
-I'm not sure who said this but my friend texted it to me when I told her my nerves about moving, and she was right. That was the entire reason I wanted to move in the first place; to be where my heart is. And I'm bringing along the people my heart belongs to.
I grew up in the city, or maybe "grew up" isn't really the right word but I was there for about 4 years and it was as city as you could get without being in New York or Chicago or anything like that: Alexandria, Virginia. That's where I was born, but we didn't stay long, jumping to Springfield shortly after.
My grandmother, who I call mom, and who I've lived with my entire life along with my Grandpa, who will always be my dad no matter what my birth certificate says, got in a pretty bad car accident that messed up her lungs. She's perfectly fine now but all the pollution in the city was really hard on her, so we moved down to this 27 acre, middle of nowhere farm in Catawaba, about four hours away from Springfield. Actually, now that I think about it, it may have been more then 27 acres because I'm still not quite sure where our land began and ended-technicalities. I loved it down there. We had 3 dogs, 2 mutts whose breed I am still to this day unsure of but would love to find out-they were beautiful! Sisters we named Sugar and Spice, along with a Border Collie we named Angel. To this day, I will insist that she was the love of my life. We had a bond and losing her...well, I'm not going to get into that but it wasn't easy on me. It's still a heavy burden on my shoulders, 8 years later. We also had to cats, one was a stray who just happened to live under our front porch that I was too young to think of any name for aside from, "Little Grey." He was the cutest kitten, but didn't last long. That's the only problem with living out in the mountains...small animals that won't let you touch them, well..they don't tend to live too long. We also had a calico named Callie, I know we weren't too original. There were goats in our backyard, 5 of them whose names I cannot remember for the life of me. When we moved to the suburbs, we gave them to my cousins who had an unfortunate bear problem one year. Pickachu was one...Oreo, and Shreck. The others names are lost on me. Bordering our driveway were horses and cows, our neighbors, but they had a little girl just a year older then me so I got to ride a lot.
I really think that was what hooked me onto horses.
We didn't stay in Catawaba any more then 2 years, because it was an hour drive into the city for me to get to school and for us to get groceries, and my mom, owning her own business up in Springfield-or was it Saratoga?-still made the 4 hour drive to work everyday. As they began to get older it just didn't make sense anymore, so we moved about an hour and a half away to Salem, Virginia. It's this really small town on the edge of Roanoke, a slightly countrified version of suburbia.
I really like Salem, I always have, but since the moment we moved there has always been something missing-and we've lived here going on what I think is 9 years now. Even when I was happy here, I was never fully happy. I missed Catawaba, I think I always will a little; my best memories are there, but Salem is a nice enough place. I love being able to walk everywhere, and knowing everybody. At first, it seemed like a very tight-knit community. Now...it just sort of feels like a cage. I honestly can't say I'll be sad to see it go, since everyone I love in it I know I won't be leaving for long-if I'm leaving at all. One of my best friends is coming with me.
Oh yeah. My leaving Salem, that's really the whole reason I'm writing this blog. I think it's mostly for my own benefit, to be able to look back and see my views on things at the time, see how-if-I've changed and document what I'm sure to be a great adventure. If this were just some other move I probably wouldn't be writing about it, moves don't interest me much. Actually, the first few times my parents mentioned wanting to move...well, let's just say I needed a new door after that. But that was on their terms. This move is on mine.
I've been watching a lot of horse-related shows lately, I'm not sure why. I haven't really been too horse crazy at all this past year...but it hit me all of a sudden and that's really what set everything in motion. It's impossible for me to watch things like Heartland and Wildfire without thinking, "Why can't that be me?"
After too many months of thinking that, I came to the realization that it could be me. It can be. My parents were still wanting badly to move, but didn't have the money, and I was badly wanting a horse but had no money to board it.
I know that's not exactly something that would cause normal fifteen/sixteen year olds to think, "I'll get us a loan, and we'll start up a family owned and operated working ranch with the help of my three best friends," but I'm both a writer and a dreamer. Those two are a lethal combination. Thank goodness one of my friends is as insane as I am, the other is as driven, and the last is as horse crazy. I couldn't thank god enough for them...because that's just what we're doing. Following our dreams, or well...it's my dream but they love me enough to share it with me.
We were looking at places in the states, and had five ranches picked out that we were going to go tour on July 16th before making our decision of which to buy. Two in Kentucky, two in North Carolina, and one in South Carolina. They were all great places, a good amount of land for a decent amount of money, complete with houses on the property. It was perfect for what we wanted but...well...then this little problem arose. I found this show on Netflix called Heartland, it's a Canadian television show filmed in the Alberta foothills about a girl named Amy and her family's horse ranch, called...well...Heartland. Every time I turned on an episode, I got lost in everything about it, and tonight (or I guess it's last night now) I was crazy enough to look up land for sale out there, I wasn't planning on getting serious about anything but when I saw the first place...it reminded me so much of Heartland that it took my breath away. It's 160 acres of both flat lands, beautiful rolling his, thin and thick woods, creeks and ponds and rivers...I was drooling over it.
On a whim I sent the link to my friend, just to see what she'd say about it. I was in love, and although I didn't think she'd allow switching locations so drastically there was a small part of me that had hope. I love that part of me, because now it's more then just hope. She agreed, although she's a bit reluctant-I don't think she likes planes. Theres a 14 day deadline before the property is possessed, so this is suddenly moving very fast.
"Do you REALLY want the one in Canada, like no shit, MUST have it?"
I'm sure it's obvious what my response to her question was. And the moment I responded she told me I needed to call and put an offer in on the property. We weren't really going to move forward with anything until August, September, and November when it was the ranches we'd found in the states and now everything is so head on, so real.
I can't really make sense of what I'm feeling right now. I can't decide weather to scream, cry, panic, or jump for joy. All I know is; I'm making the move of a life time soon, I'm going to be living my dream...and I couldn't be more ready.
I know that money is going to be tough, and building everything will be time consuming but...I really don't care.
We're going to be doing sort of what they do in Heartland too, rehabilitate and re-home abused horses. I know everyone will doubt I can do it, because I'm so young...but I know I can. I honestly wasn't sure until my friend Monica and I rode out to this pasture one night, we were dying to ride the horses but they weren't fully trained and she was sort of scared. Scared enough to dive head first into a pile of manure when two of the horses got in to a small fight near her, that's something I'll never forget!
I was nervous too, I suppose...there was this one mare that wouldn't back off. The second we hopped the fence she trotted right to me, pressing her nose against my hand until I gave her the attention she apparently deserved. She was only about 2, and completely untrained, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something about her I could trust. I didn't like her much, she was clearly spoiled, but I felt attached to her. In the dark, when all of the horses looked the same I could make her out perfectly just by the way she held her head.
Then something really weird-and kind of scary-happened. A mare collapsed. She was breathing really hard and hadn't really been eating. Even through two of the geldings were trying to stop me-two of the more...should I say violent? ones, at that-I had to make sure she was okay. She was sweating, and obviously not pregnant. I thought at first she might have had strangles, but none of the other horses were sick so that didn't make sense. She just coliced badly...but she's alright now, thank goodness.
That whole night...it made up my mind. I was made to do this. Horses were my thing, as silly as it sounds. We're also going to be a Dude Ranch-I hate calling it that-and a cattle ranch. It's a good way to make money while still getting to do the things we love; and it gives my parents a home where money is less of a stress.
I don't know who to thank for how lucky I've been recently, but I owe them my life.
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